The world feels so heavy right now. It’s hard to know even imagine how we will get through this shocking, painful, difficult time. And yet, all throughout history, Black, Indigenous, Latinx, LGBTQIAP & many Asian communities have endured excruciatingly difficult times & somehow found their way through it. While I have felt my share of despair, I have to believe there is hope. I’ve put together this short simple list of ideas for men to consider to be active participants in their healing. After all, according to SAMSHA, just a few years ago (in 2019) only 8.7% of Non-Hispanic men over the age of 18+ received mental health care.
This list below is aimed to give you ideas & not a substitute for mental health care simply because it is written by a therapist. Please, if you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.
RECOGNIZE YOUR FEELINGS AND YOUR BODILY SENSATIONS, WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.
The uncertainty of our world undoubtedly brings forth a tremendous range of emotions and reactions. Sadness, irritability, confusion, distractability, fear, bodily tension & numbness are all normal emotional responses to the intense stress many Black men face each day. Avoid judging your feelings. Avoid pressuring yourself to feel one way of the other. Avoid running away from your reactions but instead to recognize and honor them. The negative inner critic that turns against yourself with these judgments actually increases the painful emotions. Instead, I’m asking you to just be. Be where you are.CONNECT OR RECONNECT.
Let’s not underestimate how much social connection can help you get through difficult times. Whether it’s a coach, a fraternity brother, an auntie, a cross-fit buddy, your pastor, your childhood friend, a colleague, your mentor, a parent or a therapist, connecting with those in your life that accept, love and hold you accountable can decrease feelings of loneliness that so many Black men experience. Although 2020 has been a year of physical distancing, staying connected (or reconnecting) can remind us who we are & where we’re going.GET ENOUGH REST.
While we still live in a culture of do, do, do, & do more, this expectation of overworking can be tiring and frustrating for so many men trying to reach their financial goals. If you notice yourself struggling to concentrate and perform your usual tasks due to weariness, or heaviness, take a break. Rest. I recognize this might be tough for many of you. Often, men have been raised in a culture that tells them to over-perform to show their worth. This constant work mentality seldom supports long term health outcomes. Rest (and sleep) is never overrated. Especially now.DO SOMETHING FUN.
When was the last time you had a good laugh? Or get your adrenaline pumping doing a physical activity you’ve missed? We all know that physical activity (even simply walking) can help with improving sleep. But did you know that doing something fun improves brain activity & can reduce feelings of sadness, irritability and worry?* Playing isn’t just for children! What would happen if you had a weekly fun activity built into your schedule? I’d love to hear!GIVE BACK TO YOUR COMMUNITY.
This may take some contemplation given the current shelter-in protocols for many people across the nation. It’s an opportunity for brainstorming though. Can you think of something you wanted as a young boy but it wasn’t available to you? There are countless ways to give back to your community whether it’s organizing a cleanup effort, donating to a local social service agency or volunteering your time, giving back can lift your spirits and allow you to connect with others (#2).CONSIDER TRYING OUT A SPIRITUAL OR MEDITATIVE PRACTICE.
There are many benefits to meditation (here are seven) and spiritual practice. If this is something you’ve never tried before, it may be worth your while to give it a go. Meditation has been known to increase focus over time, reduce feelings of worry, reduce stress & generate kindness for yourself and others (a personal favorite of mine). Meditation can be personalized and is different for nearly everyone. Many people find that a daily spiritual practice (be it daily prayer, forest bathing, breathing rituals, or attending a religious service) helps them feel more grounded and centered.
While this list is not exhaustive, I hope you’ve found some ideas to spark a renewed investment in yourself & a commitment to your emotional care. If you’d like to learn how to incorporate some of these ideas into your life, consider starting counseling as a means of self-exploration & support. *If you are experiencing any of these symptoms for a prolonged period of time, reach out. You’re worth it. And, remember, you can get through this. One hour, one day at a time.
“Don’t forget to love yourself”
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